Title: Snow Day
Author: Chrysa
Pairing: D/J
Rating: PG - PG-13
Category: Humor
Summary: Daniel, Janet, snow
Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1...Obviously. Characters that you don't recognize from the series are mine.
Archive: Take it. Just tell me where it lands.
Author note: Done for the February Challenge. Huge thanks to Misty who betas my stuff as well as suggesting several things that made it into this fic. Thanks also to the ladies in the chat room who regularly make me laugh and inspire me to new heights of insanity.


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Snow Day


"Janet?"

"Yes, Daniel?"

"You know I love you."

"Yes, Daniel."

"I'd die for you. You know that right?"

"Yes, Daniel."

"I'd do just about anything for you."

"That's what I love about you, Daniel."

"However, if you think I'm driving us home in this crap, you've lost your mind."

Daniel and Janet stared out over the large snow covered SGC parking lot. No one had been above ground in the last few days due to quarantine. Weather reports of six inches or more of snow had been heard and dismissed because of the base wide emergency. Looking out over the parking lot, Daniel and Janet could see just how deep the snow was. Here and there they could spot bits of different colors where the snow had shifted on the cars, but other than that there were just irregularly shaped snow sculptures in the parking lot.

And more snow was coming down.

Janet nodded slowly. "I understand completely, Daniel."

The sound of footsteps behind them had them turning to see a gaggle of people coming out of the mountain and stopping, their faces showing dismay at the weather.

"Oh. Hell. No," Valentine snorted. She shook her head. "No, no, no, no, no."

Sam looked at Jack. "No, fishing?"

"Well, the pond would be frozen..." Jack started.

"Plus there's no fish in that pond anyway," Daniel grinned as Jack shot him a look. "What? You didn't think Teal'c would look? How many hours did you guys spend at an empty lake while the rest of us were out saving the galaxy...again?'

"Smart ass."

"It's the snark, Jack. Gotta love it. Women adore me for it," Daniel said with a smug smile.

"Where is Teal'c anyway?" Janet asked, looking at the group of pissed off people.

"Two seconds after you gave the all clear, he lit off for his son's place," Rei said adjusting her gloves. She attempted to spot her SUV and gave up after a few moments of staring at the snow sculptures. "Anyone remember where they parked?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not digging your car, my car, or anyone else's damn car out of this crap. We'll only get buried again," Val said. "Plus the fact that there's so much ice on the ground we might as well just skate home instead of trying to drive. It'd be safer."

"You don't trust me to drive on ice?" Rei pretended to be insulted.

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "We've played `Halo' with you before, Rei. You can't drive on drive on regular ground much less ice. You're a menace on anything with wheels."

"Just because I accidentally ran a few people over!!"

Jack grinned at her. "That was an accident?"

"Ice is slippery dammit!" Rei stamped her foot.

"And all the times there was no ice?" Daniel teased.

"They ran in front of me!!! I can't stop a Jeep on dime!!" She glared at Jack. "You kept running that tank off a damn cliff!"

Jack narrowed his eyes at her.

"And you do NOT want me to go into your flying prowess on an alien aircraft!" Rei pointed a finger at him.

"That's it. You, me, Sudden Death Match."

"Bring it on, fly boy!" Rei turned and they marched back into the mountain arguing with every step. After a few moments Daniel ran after them wanting to see the carnage.

"We never should have brought that X Box to the base," Sam put her face in her palm. "Now what do we do?"

Cat, who'd been silent all this time, said, "Well, there's work."

They all turned and looked at her.

"Well, someone had to say it," Cat rolled her eyes. "Now that we've gotten the obligatory `duty above all' crap out of the way, I vote for trolling the Internet for smut."

Valentine contemplated that. "What kind of smut?"

"Who cares as long as it's smut?"

"Well there are varying degrees of smut!"

Amused, Janet and Sam watched as the two women, as well as a few of the others, got into a heated discussion of what constituted good smut fic and what didn't. A few brave souls ventured out into the parking lot - only to slip and slide their way back to the gates and vow not to go out until the spring thaw.

"So what do you want to do?" Janet asked turning towards her friend.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Sam grinned.

Janet shrugged. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Sam shook her head. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Oh, now don't start that again," Janet groaned. For a moment the two women were silent staring out at the falling snow. Then Janet gave into the urge and asked, "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"We've watched `The Jungle Book' too many damn times," Janet said rubbing her face.

"I know," Sam chuckled and they turned back towards the inside of the mountain. "Well, I know Siler's trying to make a still in one of the labs. Felger is doing some experiment that is bound to cause destruction and mayhem and piss everyone off in the meantime. There's shopping online. A few chat rooms going on about various things such as the relationships on Battlestar Galactica and the sexiness of Rhade on Andromeda. Not to mention the insanity that regularly ensues on Gateview." She laughed at the incredulous expression on Janet's face. "I am not making this up."

"I might visit the still later and I think I'll pass on everything else," Janet shook her head and stretched. "Another day in the SGC."

"Yeah. Can't escape even if you try."

****

Janet sat and relaxed with an aromatherapy candle and a trashy romance novel in her and Daniel's on-base quarters. Only when she felt sufficiently decompressed from the last few days did she start thinking about what she wanted to do with the rest of her day. Donning her coat once more, she went to the top of the mountain and gazed out onto the pristine landscape.

Just outside the doors was a small park. During the summer they used this place for impromptu picnics and as an escape from the drab gray walls of the SGC. Here and there she could spot picnic benches covered in snow...making perfect snow forts to hide behind.

Janet raised an eyebrow as an idea bubbled up in her mind. She allowed it to percolate for a few moments. Then she headed back in and went for a telephone.

****

Forty-five minutes later, it was Daniel sitting next to Jack playing `Halo'. After several rounds of beating each other into the ground, Rei had gotten a phone call and rushed off for places unknown.

"AHHHH!!!!!!!"

"Jack, I swear sometimes you scream like a girl!" Daniel yelled as he leaned to the right willing his player to not get...killed.

Damn.

He turned and glared at his friend. Jack, who'd already died, gave him an innocent look. "They were BIG!! They had spines and bigger guns than I did!!!"

"How did you make General again?"

"You know, sometimes I ask myself that same question. Still haven't come up with an answer."

The phone rang before Daniel could answer. "O'Neill...Yeah...Sa-" Jack slumped and looked up at the ceiling with an expression of `why me?' "Understood. I'll be right there."

"What's up?"

"Sam wants me to take a look at something at the top of the mountain," he grabbed his coat and went out the door. A few seconds later he stuck his head back in. "You coming?"

Daniel grinned and grabbed his jacket. As he shut the door to the lounge they heard Janet's voice down the hall.

"Daniel?"

"I'll catch up with you, Jack. Yes, Janet?"

Janet crooked her finger at him and gave him a come-hither smile. "I missed you," she pouted, pulling on his collar and laying a heated kiss on him. She put her arms around his neck as his brain short- circuited and melted.

"MmmmaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Daniel suddenly howled and jerked back as something round and wet slid under his shirt and down his back.

As he danced a jig back and forth in the hallway to get the snowball out of his shirt, Daniel heard Janet's laughter ring out. "Oh! Look at the time! Gottagobye!!" She shrieked with laughter and took off down the hall.

"GET BACK HERE YOU EVIL WENCH!!!" Daniel screamed as he took off after her.

"I LOVE YOU TOO, BABY!!"

****

"Can't go fishing, can't win `Halo', can't have nookie on base," Jack grumbled as he entered the elevator. Near the top floor the elevator stopped, and Siler got on carrying what looked like a sled. "Siler."

"Sir." Siler nodded, bending down to fiddle with something.

Jack's eyes follwed him down and he frowned in confusion. "Is that an engine?"

"Yes, sir," Siler grinned up at him. "Naquadah powered engine, sir."

Jack blinked. "'Naquadah powered'? What are you planning to do? Go sledding in the upper atmosphere?"

"They have an air tank and a flight suit waiting for me outside." Siler chuckled as the exited the elevator.

"Is there a legitimate reason for a naquadah powered sled?"

"Well, I could tell you we built it as a prototype sled to PR3-875, the ice planet with the ruins on it...but I'd be lying," Siler shrugged.

"Lying?"

"Like a dog, sir."

They stepped through the outer doors - and into the biggest snowball fight either of them had ever seen. Benches from all over the park had been dragged together and re-covered in snow to make barricades. One side had been commandeered by the men, while the women had taken a more defensible position near some small trees.

"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!!" Rei screamed as a volley of snowballs flew towards the men.

"FIRE!!!" One of the men yelled back, and a flurry of snowballs went back over the line.

Off to one side Jack could see Sam directing some of the women as they built what looked like a catapult out of one young tree. By the look of things she was getting ready for a test throw, Jack mused as they bent the tree slightly in another direction. Probably to make sure no one got hurt by flying snow.

Sam looked at the catapult and the amount of snow on it. She nodded in satisfaction. "FIRE!!"

Jack frowned for a second as the snow shot into the air then his eyes widened. "Oh shit."

Siler hit the power button on his sled, shooting forward and out of harm's way. Jack in the mean time was hit with the largest snowball he'd ever seen. It bowled into him, flipping him upside down into a snowdrift.

Silence reigned as everyone stared at his feet sticking up into the air. Then Sam cursed and everyone rushed over to make sure he was alive.

"Oh crap! I'm sorry!" Sam cried out, brushing snow from Jack's face and everyone dug the rest of him out. "Are you okay?"

Jack looked up at her calmly, his face red from the cold. "You do realize, this means war." He pelted her in the face with a snowball.

With an undignified shriek, Sam staggered back spitting out snow and wiping her face. She glared at him. Everyone looked at him then her then back at him.

"GET HIM!!" She screamed scooping up a handful of snow and flinging it at him.

"WHOO HOO!!" Jack yelled grabbing his own handful and chasing after her.

Siler shot by in his souped up sled, and at that the gender war disintegrated into an all out melee. The doors opened and out ran Janet laughing like a mad woman with Daniel chasing after her.

"I'm gonna get you!" Daniel yelled again, scooping up snow and throwing it at her.

"No you won't! I'm gonna be the mother of your children!!!" Janet yelled back, ducking behind a tree. She paused to watch Siler zip past, then howled when Daniel got her in the back of the head.

"Looks like I did," he snickered, then ran like hell in the opposite direction as she chased him. She tackled him and stuffed another snowball down his shirt. He wriggled underneath her, cursing colorfully in several languages causing her to laugh. They paused as Rei, Cat, Val and a few others chased after Walter.

"If you rub his head you'll have good luck next time you go through the gate!" Rei yelled laughing.

"Get the hell away from me!! I'm not bald it's just a buzz cut!!!" Walter waved his hands frantically.

Janet watched him for a moment then ducked as Jack leaped over them. "Hi, guys!"

"Hi, Jack," they called out.

"Aren't you cold lying in the snow like that?"

"Bonzai!!!" Sam leapt onto Jack, throwing them into the snow.

"Look who's talking," Daniel laughed as the two wrestled in the snow. Janet laughed and rested her head on Daniel's chest. He poked her in the side. "Mother of my children, huh?"

Her brown eyes peeked up at him through her bangs. "Uh-huh."

"The only thing keeping me from jumping you right now is the damn cold." He kissed her forehead.

"Bummer. There's a convenient snow bank over there." They ducked again as Siler flew overhead. She sat up and watched everyone playing like kids in the snow with a satisfied smile.

"You arranged all this didn't you?" Daniel said in wonder. At her nod he chuckled. "You little minx. Why?"

She gave him a sexy grin. "Cause the best thing about snow is getting out of it and warming back up."

The End.

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