Title: Freya's Bad Day
Author: Wendy Parkinson
Category: Humour, romance
Pairing: Dan/Jan, brief mention of Sam/Jack.
Spoilers: Divide and Conquer
Season/Sequel info: set just after Divide and Conquer, season four
Content Warnings: none
Summary: Daniel eavesdrops on Janet and Freya, and finds out something surprising.
Archive: "Dan and Jan"
Date: 6th November 2004
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Author's notes: Yes, I am still here! ;-) I found this on my hard drive and finally got round to finishing it - I hope you enjoy it.
This story is a response to a challenge posted on the danandjan list back in March by Jammer - "Humorous fic involving Anise, aka Tok'ra Spice. She must come to the SGC for a professional reason and must hit on Daniel. Janet must kick Anise's butt! Major Anise-whupping is required. Please don't make it too ridiculous. If you want it to be a D&C missing scene, by all means, go ahead."
I'm not sure I've whumped as much as Jammer wanted, but I did have fun with Freya. ;-)
As usual, thanks to Sue for the beta.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
Copyright Wendy Parkinson November 2004
Freya's Bad Day
"Apparently, the snake likes you."
Jack's words rang in Daniel's ears and he shuddered. Despite Freya's obvious physical attributes, he really didn't find her attractive. She had absolutely no sense of humour. He liked women who made him laugh. Sha're had thought he was hilarious and poked fun at him all the time. He smiled to himself at the memory. And of course there was the little matter of Freya being a blended Tok'ra. Two in one. A host and a symbiote. No matter what the Tok'ra might say, to his mind she had still been taken over like Sha're had been by Amounet. He shuddered again. No, not attractive in the slightest.
He took off his glasses and rubbed his painful, tired eyes. It had been a horrendous day. First they'd thought that Jack and Sam were zatarcs, then Martouf had been killed. He felt kind of pathetic worrying about Anise wanting him, but right now he just couldn't deal with it, which was why he was hiding out in his office and not helping Janet and Freya dismantle the zatarc tester ready for transport back to the Tok'ra base.
The pain across his eyes worsened and stabbed at him. He winced. He was going to have to get some painkillers from the infirmary. Hopefully he'd just be able to sneak in and out without Freya or Janet spotting him.
Daniel crept as quietly as he could into the infirmary, and headed for the nurse on duty, trying to attract as little attention as possible, particularly from Janet and Freya who were on the far side of the room leaning over the zatarc tester. He was surprised to realise he could hear their conversation. Against his better judgement, he tucked himself in by a large filing cabinet and settled down to watch.
"I really must insist on you wearing a lab coat," said Janet, glancing at the scantily clad Tok'ra. "What happens if we spill something? You have no protection at all."
Daniel grinned at Janet's assessment of the Tok'ra's clothing. Freya was definitely an adherent to the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' school of fashion.
"It is not the custom," replied Freya, in a tone that invited no arguments. "And we will not spill anything. there is nothing here to spill."
Janet's eyes narrowed. "You'd be surprised. This can be a dangerous place."
The women turned back to their work and lapsed into silence. Daniel was just thinking he really ought to see the nurse for those painkillers, when Freya spoke again. "My symbiote feels an affinity with Doctor Jackson," she said firmly.
Daniel stopped dead. So Jack was right!
"Does Daniel know about this?" asked Janet sweetly.
Daniel smiled. At that moment, Janet had her back to him, but he could just imagine her face.
"I haven't spoken with him yet, but I'm sure he has similar feelings. We have so much in common."
Yeah, and the moon is made of swiss cheese, he thought wryly. He waited to see what Janet had to say and frowned when she didn't answer the Tok'ra. Why didn't she jump to his defence?
"Would you like a coffee?" Janet asked Freya, breaking the silence. Daniel thought he detected a steely edge to her voice that usually only surfaced when Jack was a patient in the infirmary, but Freya seemed oblivious to the change in Janet's mood.
He watched the Doctor walk over to the coffee machine, pour two cups, and walk back. When she was a few steps away from Freya, who was hunched over the zatarc machine with her back facing the Doctor, she hesitated, then looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to make a decision. Then she squared her shoulders and with a determined frown and as much force as her small frame could muster, she threw the contents of both cups over the Tok' ra.
Freya squealed in shock as the hot liquid dribbled down her body and soaked into her clothes. Daniel couldn't believe his eyes. Janet had done that deliberately, there was no question about it. Despite his ambivalent feelings about Freya, he really hoped the coffee hadn't been too hot. He made a mental note not to annoy their petite Doctor in future.
"Oh, I am sorry," said Janet sweetly. "I slipped. It's such a shame you weren't wearing a lab coat."
"I need to. ugh. it's wet. hot." For once the Tok'ra seemed lost for words as she squirmed in her wet clothing.
"I can lend you something if you'd like to get out of your wet things," Janet said, smiling innocently at Freya. "A lab coat, perhaps?"
"Er, no. I will go back to my quarters, then I will look for Doctor Jackson. I need to speak to him."
Something seemed to snap inside Janet and she put her hands on her hips and stared up at the Tok'ra. "Look, sister, I've put up with your fantasies for long enough. Doctor Jackson will never be interested in you."
Amen to that, thought Daniel.
"We'll see, Doctor," spat Freya.
"He won't be interested in you because he's mine. We've been lovers for months."
WHAT?!? Daniel leaned against the filing cabinet for support. He hadn't thought of Janet like that before and he was surprised to realise that he rather liked the idea, but what on earth possessed her to say it? Was Janet delusional?
"I think you are the one with the fantasies, Doctor," said Freya nastily, as she turned on her impractically high heels and squelched out of the infirmary.
The duty nurse chose that moment to emerge from her office. "Doctor Jackson! How long have you been there? What can I do for you?"
Daniel felt his face colouring as Janet turned towards him. "Painkillers. Headache," he spluttered.
Janet walked over to him, her own face a matching shade of crimson. "How much did you see?" she asked quietly as the nurse went to get the tablets.
"Enough to know you're a dangerous woman when coffee's around." He smiled. "Thanks for defending my honour."
"You're welcome. You won't tell anyone, will you? I could be brought up on charges."
"No way. She deserved it." There was an awkward pause. Daniel licked his lips nervously. He couldn't let this rest, he had to say something. "Why did you say we were lovers?"
"I thought it'd shut her up."
"Oh." A wave of disappointment washed over Daniel. "No other reason?" he asked quietly.
Janet suddenly seemed to find her shoes very interesting. "I. er. well."
Daniel put his finger gently under Janet's chin and pushed her head up so he could look into her eyes. "To be honest, I quite liked the idea," he whispered.
She smiled and nodded. He leant down and brushed her lips softly with his. Janet let out a contented sigh and wound her arms round his neck, pulling him closer to her. They kissed again; exploring, caressing, totally wrapped up in each other.
"Doctor Jackson! Doctor Fraiser!"
They sprang apart like they'd been stung and found themselves staring at Freya. Daniel was hard pushed not to laugh at the expression on her face. She was apoplectic with rage.
"I told you we were together," said Janet, smiling at her.
"Have been for months," added Daniel, putting a protective arm over Janet's shoulder.
"If you like," said Janet, "Daniel and I can dismantle the zatarc tester. Perhaps you'd like to go and meditate or something? You look a bit agitated."
Daniel was glad that looks couldn't kill, because if they could, he and Janet would have been dead for sure. Giving them one last glare, Freya stormed out of the infirmary, slamming the door behind her.
Daniel burst out laughing. "She's not having a good day. Rejected twice. It can't be good for the ego." Janet raised an eyebrow curiously. "She made a pass at Jack," he explained.
"He turned her down."
Janet smiled wickedly. "Does Sam know about this?"
"I don't know. I doubt it."
"Well, I think as her best friend, it's my duty to tell her," Janet said, earnestly.
Daniel glanced at the still vibrating door and grinned. "I think Freya's day just got even worse."
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